The New Year: Sustainable Change
Happy New Year! As always, here go the convos about resolutions. What is it about you and your life that you want to carry forth into the future? What is it that you want to shed or leave behind? How might things be different?
I find those questions more helpful than specific goal setting or making resolutions. Especially that last one: how might things be different? That’s the question behind whatever the resolution may be. It’s worth staying on that question longer, much longer, before quickly moving to the resolution.
And then, once you do move to the “resolution”:
Behavioral psychologists have long found the science behind what many of us experience intuitively: change works best if it’s small and successful. Meaning, you’re UNLIKELY to stick out a change that’s radically different from how you’ve been doing things if you just abruptly start one day. So many of us have experienced this with our New Year’s resolutions. The exercise or the diet that lasts a few weeks - that’s an experience nearly everyone has had! My hand is raised.
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
But if we slow ourselves down and think like the behavioral scientist for a moment we might ask ourselves the question: what is it that I already do really well? And how can I make that a little bit better? We can even apply this to the dreaded areas of exercise and diet! What part of exercising do you already do really well? Maybe it’s having some exercise routine (i.e. walking, short jogs, stretches, yoga, etc.) or maybe it’s wanting to be in better shape (which is a psychological reality and strength!). So let’s capitalize on those strengths, bring them forth into the New Year and grow them - one small successful step at a time. Maybe it’s starting with breathing better - or better yet, developing your relationship with your breath. After all, you already breathe and that’s certainly something we want to carry forth into the future. So why not understand your breathe, what it communicates, and breath better as steps? When one breathes better, one can do EVERYTHING better including think, move, feel motivated, etc. Read the blog on breathing to learn more. If you’re breathing better by the end of January or February, imagine what change you can make in March that is even more sustainable, and so forth…
For the diet, maybe it won’t be starting the January carnivore diet, or doing a Whole30 followed by an ongoing Paleo, followed by only cutting out alcohol and allowing the occasional dessert as long as you’re basically doing Keto…been there! Again, what do you do really well already and how can you carry that forth? And then add one small successful change at a time. Maybe you like certain vegetables but don’t tend to eat enough of them. Okay, set a goal to eat more vegetables that you like for the next two or three weeks.
The point is that it should be doable. In the diet example, perhaps find the vegetables you like, find the most delightful/exciting way to eat them, and eat more of them for weeks. Then, once this has become successful, you change something else. Maybe it’s simply sticking with the veggies, but making it a little more healthy—like buying fresh carrots that are already very sweet instead of tasteless prepackaged carrots that need to be dipped into something or baked with brown sugar to make them tastier. Or maybe it’s slowing down the carb intake by cutting your portion down and stopping to savor and notice and enjoy the bites you are taking! And before you know it, you’re successfully and much more happily eating the way you want to be eating.
What if you didn’t set drastic or radical changes from the get-go, bu made small, successful, and sustainable changes all the way through? And then, December 2021 comes around and you feel like a boss because your exercise or eating habits (to use these examples) are better than they were in December 2020 or ever before?
Happy New Year, and welcome to Denver Safe and Sound Psychology!